Why Marriage is a Scam – Honest Ads

Why Marriage is a Scam – Honest Ads

There’s no truer expression of love than a fancy wedding Or at least that’s what I and my peers have convinced you for financial reasons that will soon become clear, if they aren’t already. I’m sorry, are we paying for this time? Long ago, marriage was strategic – a way to legally bind two families or to increase one family’s landholdings. Today very few issues can be settled
by robbing your children of their right to choose a lover However, people like me still wanted to make money.
so we built an industry around the idea that you should legally bind yourself to the person with whom you most enjoy having sex Or, failing that, with whom you’re
most comfortable Or, failing that, anyone you want
for basically any reason Including immigration or tax concerns
(provided it’s not a family member) You don’t have to, of course, but it would be weird and kind of pathetic if you don’t Your parents agree with us.
And anyway, can you really put a price on love? Yes, love costs, on average, $ 31,500. -Holy fuck**ng sh*t.
-Yeah, same question. I told you we shouldn’t have given a kosher option Aah, save it vows.
Is this a wedding or an informative short? We, honestly, don’t know.
Congratulations, you’ve met the love of your life What better way to celebrate
than by spending several paychecks on a party for so many friends,
family members, and people you don’t know but your parents insist that you invite,
but you never speak with any of them for longer than 15 seconds.
Society has agreed, that it would be awkward, if those in love didn’t host
a cripplingly expensive event, at which your friends and family
get to watch you kiss, and have a chance to object if they want
(preferably after the meal) In exchange, newlyweds receive money
and/or presents from a pre-approved list of things you’ll need to own, to begin your life as ‘dual consumers’. It’s your little way of saying:
“By those bowls we want, friend from college.” In reality, your marriage is an open-air market, facilitating the barter of appliances
for booze and a meal. But make no mistake: no one is making money here. Except, of course, those of us in the
‘legal binding of people with vaguely religious undertones’ industry.
For example, you’re gonna want music at your reception, or everyone will be mad.
And even though an iPod, plugged into a speaker would be fine,
we’ve convinced you need to spend over a $ 1000 for a stranger
to plug in his iPod instead this is human DJ Chaz, he doesn’t have a degree
in anything, and he will play that song, that orders the listeners to get louder, then softer,
then louder again, and so on, and so forth in that fashion. If you failed to retain his services,
your’s will be a cursed union. These are pleasant smelling remains
of murdered plant life. They cost $ 2000, and are garbage
two hours after you say ‘I do’. I’d also like to remind everyone
that common wisdom states: “An engagement ring should cost roughly
two months salary” And let’s not forget about your maid of honor
and best man We don’t profit much on that one
outside of charging them an outrageous amount to rent an outfit
worn by dozens of people before. Really, we just thought forcing you
into picking your favorite friend would be a funny way
to add stress to your wedding day You literally have to decide,
which of your friends is best then make them write a speech. Even though it’s only my fourth time
talking in front of a group I’m going to tell a wildly inappropriate
story about the groom It’s intensely private, but society
has obligated me to reveal it on what is arguably the most important
day of his life in front of people who really
aren’t gonna find it charming. But don’t worry everyone,
WOHOOO. Add in a choreographed dance,
thank you notes and vows, and you’ll soon see your wedding as that
expensive party that requires homework. And don’t forget:
Everyone knows you are going to have sex afterwards. They are all fine with it,
there is no problem. I’m just pointing out that when smiles
at you at your wedding, they are thinking:
“They are going to f*ck later” Your grandma knows. She’s lived a long full life
You think she doesn’t know what happens on your wedding night?
And therefore has probably at least briefly imagined the two of you f*cking.
News flash: She has. Respect the elderly
I’m Roger Horton, and with the power vested in me by
the Internet, I now pronounce you husband and wife
F*ck you, pay me.

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100 thoughts on “Why Marriage is a Scam – Honest Ads”

  • My husband proposed me over phone without ring. I said yes.
    Got married within the week wearing 10$ dress (cheap but new dress which was available in my closet that moment)
    Got married in a resturent while eating fries. I bet the waiter didn't even noticed that we were getting married. Sign the paper. Total cost of paper was like 75$. Compensation was 1250$.

  • Dont forget the life long propaganda stuffed into little girls psyches' misleading them into thinking their value is proportional to the value of their wedding.

  • This is why i didnt have a wedding . We went to the court house in nice clothes . Then a couple days later we had a nice photoshoot and in total it costs us 350 dollars. The photoshoot and the clothes we rented were the most expensive part. But i dont regret it at all. Especially since im currently finishing up school!

  • Marriage isn’t a scam. Weddings are a scam. Especially Arab weddings. They spend 3 years salary so some random auntie can sit at a table in the back and bitch talk you. So glad my wedding isn’t costing my husband tons of money for no reason. The simpler the better

  • My wedding cost about $250. Including the rings. I had a gown, he wore a custom fit tux, and we had beautiful flowers. And my mother said learning to sew was never going to do anything for me in this day and age.

  • This video is about why weddings are a scam. Marriage is a scam for a bunch of different reasons like guardianship, alimony, spouses legally being able to steal property from each other, unfair tax advantages, etc.

  • I remember being a bridesmaid at a wedding party in which the groom was MIA for 4days and shows up at the wedding escorted by his soon to be wife's family members that escorted him literally with a shotgun pointed at him. He said he had been kidnapped, I'm like hmm he ain't even a kid but ok. The couple divorced within 2 months, wedding cost $20000, new 1bdrm lux apt $250,000 which happened to burn up 2months after moving in lost everything including all wedding memories. Here I am still mad they made me pay $150 for a super ugly 1950s funeral home lilac dress. Yes I call the ugly light not pastel purple funeral home lilac because it reminds me of funeral home wallpaper when I was growing up.

  • My wife and I eloped, didn’t have a wedding but later in the year we had a reception for our families and friends. About 100 people. With the venue, food, Cake and drinks the final total was about $600, it was awesome.

  • Not all newly weds f**k right after the reception, not even on the wedding night. They're usually too exhausted after a long day of planning and parties. But if it were my case, I'd wait on purpose. Gotta let the whole marriage thing set in and know the person. And I'll be the one insisting…I initiate when the time comes. 😉

  • Marriage is different from weddings

    You can have a successful marriage sans wedding. You can have a glorious wedding and a crappy marriage in the end.

    If people want to get married, let them. It is their life. Telling them "oh boy, you'll get divorced in three years" is just plain jerky move.

    The title is misleading. It should be

    "Expensive weddings are a scam"

  • In the bible, wedding doesn't require any money, even being baptized. Modern Catholic only uses their believers for 'money' not for Christ's presence and love. That's why i stopped believing in these churches, etc..

  • As a part time gig, I used to DJ and I've Emceed about a hundred weddings. My worst experience was with a couple who, at the reception, had groom family to the right and bride family to the left with an aisle down the middle… We had a list of music the bride and groom liked and a list they didn't like (you can't imagine how many "No Macarena" notes we got) but would take requests…

    Someone would come up and request a song on the "do not play" list, I'd politely let them know the couple didn't want us to play that. They would go complain to the new couple. Someone on the left would request a song and I'd play it, someone from the right would complain to the new couple. Someone on the right would request a song and I'd play it, someone from the left would complain to the new couple… The bride was at my stand (across the room) about every 15 minutes complaining to me about people complaining to her. We agreed I wouldn't take requests, people would make requests, I'd politely decline, "I've been ask by the bride to play their preferred list and not take requests," they'd complain to her!. They even bothered her during her dinner! Really a nasty bunch. It was obvious the 2 sides of the room hated each other.

    God I was happy when that gig ended… They complained about me to the boss but he'd had that happen to him in the past so it didn't matter! I have a hunch that marriage is ended by now.

  • That’s why I got married in a pretty $30 dress from amazon, my mom made my cake, we got married at the courthouse with our close family and best friends present, and had a cheap but Pinteresty reception that everyone brought food to pot luck style, the whole thing cost about $300 and it was a beautiful and fun day with great pictures taken by my sister in law

  • This is TRASH! Marriage brings family units which is the most successful way to bring up the next generation. So what if your grandparents know you are fucking after the wedding! They did it. Parents did it to bring you into the world.

  • I don’t give a solid fuck who gets mad on my side or his side. We gonna run off and get married no wedding. Y’all wanna invite yourself then be prepeared to pay cuz I’m broke as shit

  • As someone who rented out tuxedos and sold suits…. Hehehahahahahahahahahaahaha. Naw really though tuxedo rentals are a scam. Just get a nice suit that you'd have a reason to wear more than once

  • Marriage is only a scam for schmucks that aren't marrying the right person. How many times do I need to see two people that were never meant for each other, that are narcissistic beyond belief, and thought that marriage was just the thing to do.

  • Got legally married in Vegas chapel for 2 hundred dollars with no guest. 3 years later I fell it was the best decision I ever made.

  • i would probably be stating the obvious, but many times over the checks given by the guests go to cover the wedding expenses, and almost never completely at that.

  • Please come back and keep making these videos. They are hilarious and the comments from people who are offended are even better. LMFAO

  • My wife a and I got married in the back yard of our home that we are still in after 30 years and I still love her and her me.Its a business true,but people need to realize it's work.If you're selfish or greedy it's not going to work.Being patient and communication is important.She is the best thing ever,(as well as children and grandchildren). I'd be in jail or dead by now.My brothers didn't work because they were both money grabbing people.Peace.

  • My wedding horror story is well… Let's just say mom didn't have the best judgement back then… BUT WE'RE ALL DOING GREAT NOW!!!

  • Basically I am an atheist, so no church wedding. Therefore no traditional marriage.
    I will likely get a civil marriage in a court house.

  • 4:38 “If you see anyone smiling at you, they’re thinking your gonna f*** later.” 🤣🤣🤣 that’s so true

  • We literally went to the court house. However then I was like I want a wedding untill my planning began to really worry me; not to mention the cost. That s*** was quickly called of. HELL WE'RE ALREADY MARRIED

  • Lol you forget the part where the waiters don’t give a shit when food drops on the floor but smile in your most expensive event (500’000€+)

    Oh and the waiters don’t wash their hands in that day because there is never soap for us, our hands are really really dirty but we mostly can use a towl to clean our hands 🙂

    You know when you smile, do your best etc & people treat you like shit you have to vent it somehow ;p

    A student waiter for 5 years in high end events xxx

  • I know a girl who is so wrapped up in her head about the perfect wedding/ engagement ring, that she's literally said she'll rather marry a guy who will give that to her than a man she truly loves her and chooses a more simple union ceremony

  • My wedding dress cost $1200, and that was the most expensive part. Everything else, except for the flowers, was volunteered by friends and family because they knew we didn't have much money. On April 29, 2020, we will be celebrating our 20th anniversary (yes, getting married in 2000 was "strategic". If anybody asks us how long we've been married all we have to answer is "what year is it?) 😉