Struggling in a Sexless or Low-Sex Marriage?

Struggling in a Sexless or Low-Sex Marriage?


In this video, we are going to be talking
about the sexless marriage. No fun, right? No. We are Casey and Meygan Caston of Marriage365
and we are a nonprofit dedicated to helping couples connect with a variety of resources. Obviously your sex life is a vital part of
your relationship. It’s a connector, it’s a secret language between
two lovers. And it’s interesting because, I mean, sex
obviously satisfies a very base biological need, but also it satisfies this intense emotional
need for love and belonging. So, when sex is good, it’s good, right? But there seems to be some sort of multiplier,
because when it’s bad, it’s not just bad, it’s really bad. And couples that are in a sexless marriage
are in the danger zone. They are lonely spouses and we are driven
for connection. So, if we can’t find it inside of our relationship,
these are the spouses that are driven to affairs, addictions, they use substances to numb out
pain. So, it is a real marriage killer. And now I want to talk about a couple of barriers
that couples experience in a sexless marriage, barriers that keep them from getting it on
in the bedroom. The first one obviously a mismatched hormonal
level. So, testosterone drives that sexual desire
and need and so if there’s just medications that can whack that out, there’s life choices
and life situations, stresses. Ok, but sometimes it’s just one spouse has
a high sex drive, and one spouse has a low sex drive. Right! So, that’s just sometimes what it is. So, unresolved conflict is a huge barrier
that we encounter because it’s the unresolved issues outside the bedroom that keep couples
from getting it on inside the bedroom. Anger, resentment, unforgiveness, there’s
this tension that couples have and so, you know, sex is obviously this release, it’s
vulnerable, but you can’t do that when you’re so closed up. When you’re resentful and I would say too,
for women, we need to feel that emotional connection in order to have great sex and
to be willing to have it, wanting to have it. So yeah, if there’s unforgiveness and unresolved
issues, we typically put up a wall, for sure. Yes. Another really common barrier, you guys, that
we’re seeing more and more is stress. Stress, we say, is the number one libido killer. We are too busy, too maxed out with our schedules,
we have too much on our plate, we don’t tell people no, we have no boundaries and no limits. And because of that we are stressed. Not to mention that many people work way more
than forty hours a week. And I’m talking 70, 80, 90 hours a week. And that’s just gonna cause stress! By the end of the day, they’re just so tired,
they’re like ‘I can’t even think about having sex.’ Absolutely! Another thing, kind of on the same lines as
stress would be just not making it a priority. That you’ve made your hobbies, your friends,
your kids, your job, you know, your career, whatever that is, a larger priority than taking
time to have sex. And, let’s be honest, it takes time to have
sex. It takes energy and it takes time. It’s a really good workout, actually. But, you know, sure, sometimes quickies are
great, but genuinely speaking, if you want to have a great sex life, you’re gonna have
to spend ten, fifteen, twenty, sometimes thirty minutes on foreplay and showering and all
that good stuff. Who has time for that?! And if you’re maxed out with your schedule
and you’re not making your sex life a priority, it’s not gonna happen. Yeah. Absolutely. Let’s talk about ED. It is not on the rise, but it is. What is ED, babe? For those people that don’t know. Erectile Dysfunction. Okay. We are hearing from more and more couples
that are experiencing Erectile Dysfunction and there is a very distinct correlation and
relationship between porn usage and Erectile Dysfunction. There’s a lot of reasons why ED could impact
a relationship, but porn usage being that it’s so prevalent now in our society, that
is becoming a big, huge barrier in the bedroom and we go, there’s a huge amount of conversation
around that of what porn does, setting up the fantasy that cannot be actualized in real
life. Yeah, we actually have an entire webcast that
you can find on our site on the effects that pornography has, but Erectile Dysfunction,
it’s on the rise. It genuinely is becoming more common and it’s,
you know, men are watching pornography one, two, three times a day, so of course they
can’t get it up for their wife. Correct. Another barrier is a hyper-religious upbringing,
okay. So, if you’ve been raised in a church environment
that has shamed the topic of sex, saying that, you know, don’t do it, it’s bad, it’s naughty,
you can’t do it until you’re married, you hear about the sexually active high school
students and they’re kind of, you know, ushered out the back, they’re ashamed… that can
be a very bad scripting because all of a sudden one day it’s bad and then once you say ‘I
do’ all of a sudden it’s good?! That’s a huge barrier to overcome. Absolutely. And our last barrier would be childbirth and
parenting. So, for those of you who have kids, let’s
all take a deep breath.. young kids, right? Not only of course is your body healing after
you have a baby, for us ladies, but oftentimes your newborn sleeps in the bed with you, or
right in between Mom and Dad, you know, you’re barely getting sleep. Kids require so much time and energy and they’re
very demanding, their schedules are demanding, and so you’re just physically exhausted, mentally
exhausted and oftentimes that’s a massive barrier. Now, luckily the childbirth and the parenting
is just a season and we want to invite you guys to actually watch our entire webcast
on The Sexless Marriage, where we give you a list of over twenty different barriers and
then we don’t just leave you there, because we’re very practical, we want to give you
the tools. We give you four steps to take to kind of
move from a sexless marriage to a thriving, healthy sex life. Now, we would define a sexless marriage as
having sex five times or less a year. But that’s our definition. Yeah. And, genuinely, you could be having sex with
your spouse once, maybe even twice a month, but you want it more and you feel like you’re
in a sexless marriage, so this webcast genuinely is for everybody. We invite you to watch it! With the webcast comes Couple’s Connecting
Questions where we give you the questions to have an open and honest and vulnerable
conversation with your spouse so that you can have a great sex life! Like you said, we also give you the action
plans. We don’t want to just overwhelm you with a
bunch of information, we want to tell you exactly what you need to do next so that you
can get your marriage back on track! Go check it out! Now, we offer a free 7-day trial, kick the
tires, see if it works for you, visit www.nakedconversations.org and start your FREE trial today! Thanks, guys!

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27 thoughts on “Struggling in a Sexless or Low-Sex Marriage?”

  • Haha. ED is the male equivalent to the headache. “Sorry hunny, I can’t do it anymore not because of reasons we can waste time fighting about but because of ED, now could you grab me a beer and turn up the TV? Thanks”. I’m sure there are real cases but what a convenient way of getting out of doing something you don’t want to do.

  • Unless there is a medical condition that prevents them from engaging in sex or are physically not present there is absolutely no excuse for not engaging in sex. The biggest thing that happens is the bait and switch. This is typically used by the female to obtain resources. Once they get what they want they close up access to the vagina and you will be treated as a pervert if you still want to continue having sex which is part of the marriage contract.The male is never off the hook when it comes to having to provide for the female but she isn't held to the same standard and is given a pass if she doesn't want to have sex.If she reuses to engage in regular enthusiastic sex Then that is certainly her right . Her body her choice. Then I as a man will then exercise my right to stop providing her with anything beyond the bare minimum. My wallet my choice

  • Damn, you two hit the nail on the head. My wife emotionally shut down. I work 160hours a week our oldest daughter committed suicide

  • My wife stopped touching me 13 years ago. No sex no sleeping together ,I'm stubborn divorce is out of the question I came from a broken family, my wife was adopted so she feels rejected all the time. Funny thing is that booze don't even help

  • I must have missed the part when husbands hate their wifes body. Man I would do her until my hammers falls apart. But unfortunately I didn't got a wife wich is sexually/physically attractive. My ED could be cured by big juicy boobs, wide hips and big bottom. It grosses me out to take pills to have sex with someone I don't want.

  • After 8 years of counseling to get to the point that there might be hope and then ED sets in…NOT CAUSED OR IN DIRECT CORRELATION WHATSOEVER TO PORNOGRAPHY BUT…WAIT FOR IT….DIABETES and other medical issues. I end up feeling selfish for having such basic needs go unmet. I get nothing. No attention, no affection. Hugs, kisses everything gone since ED came to visit permanently. Who has the real issue here? He has went to the doctor for his ED…or maybe he's lying because he's too proud to admit his manhood has been taken but maybe there's nothing a diabetic can use unless it makes him sick? Home remedies, fruits or vitamins etc that manufacturers swear work have not produced any results. His doctor tells him his testosterone level is normal…he has DESIRE BUT NO DESIRE TO PLEASE HIS WIFE? EVERYONE LOSES. I lost my husband, my friend, my lover. Don't even fucking tell me to just deal and get God. I am spiritually full and I have a full social life. I want MY MAN. So, he apparently feels or believes that because he cannot function, that my needs are not important any more. I hate dildos, SO PLEASE DO NOT GO THERE. Nothing replaces the feel of a man's body, his arms around you or his breathing and voice in your ear while you're going at it. NOTHING.

  • I’m going to help you out here. Put http:// in front of your links in the descriptions. Do this and keep them above the fold and you will see tremendous results. And thank you for the content. Sexless marriage is a big deal

  • No sex then divorce. Stay single then you don't have to deal with that bullshit woman excuses not to have sex. Single. you can have sex every night ,men. if you're able to do that such thing and enjoy the stress free night.

  • bulol shit sex is the glue that's holds a relationships together fuck no sex hey the front door is waiting for you

  • My wife doesn’t care that I want to make love to her. My heart aches. This has been going on for years. It is wickedness…we are both Christians, or, maybe only one of us really is?

  • It is amazing that humanity has survived as a espicie with the decline of sex activity. Since sex activity is not longer a drive for espicie survival and no longer a need for couples with life overload then what is the point to be with someone that doesn't have the time to spend with you? Life – work balance is non-existent.

  • The relationship is over once you have kids. Period!

    Women don’t want to be sexual anymore.

    So avoid marriage and children when all possible!

  • Been in a sexless marriage for 31 years. It has been 14 months and 14 days since the last times. It was a year before that and a years before that time. As for men watching porn, It's because they are not getting any sex. The wives are not being wives.!

  • Mismatched sex drives is a poor excuse perpetuated by fake gurus like these clowns. A mom who withholds a hug from a child that needs one because she personally isn't in the mood for a hug is abusive. Similarly the woman who withholds sex from her man who needs the affection because she isn't in the mood is abusing her status as his significant other. Withold affection at your own peril. Your significant other will cut you off and move on if they have a spine. If affection is conditional you're an unexpected fit partner.

  • My wife just doeent give a sht….told me she has no sexual desire at sll……but she is on the phone all all day to night time for BUSINESS mostky with men but now shes angry thst i had sex with snother woman….money money money is all she wants

  • Wait high low sex drive? So would it be ok to have a low or high desire to make money or talk to your spouse? Weird when so many guys are saying the same thing. Someone needs to invent a sexless marriage hookup site . Why would the spouses care it you went somewhere else for sexual intimacy? Not really important right so they shouldn't be jealous.