Live from New York City, it’s the Wendy Williams Show. ♪ Oh yeah ♪ ♪ Feel, feel, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel, feel it-it, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel it, feel it, feel it ♪ ♪ Let’s go, come on, you need it ♪ ♪ How you doin’ ♪ ♪ How-How-How-How you doin’ ♪ Now, here’s Wendy. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (audience whoops) ♪ How you doin’ ♪ So good. (audience whoops) Woo! (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) Thank you for watching us today. Say hello to my co-hosts, my studio audience. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) How you doin’? How you doin’? I’m doin’ okay. Let’s get started. It’s time for Hot Topics. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (deep bass music) Wendy, we love you. So all right, there’s a rumor going around and I so want it to be true. (Wendy laughs) They say that Desperate Housewives might be coming back to TV. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) Weird, and hate me if you want, but I don’t even mind Felicity Huffman in this one when she gets outta jail, you know what I’m saying? Now, look, here’s the plot though. Gabrielle Solis, Eva Longoria, friend to the show, she returns to Wisteria Lane and she’s hiding a troubling, terrible secret. Ooh. Now, in our meeting, my guess that the secret is that Wilona, what’s her name? Which one? Juanita. Juanita. Juanita, Demi Lovato’s sister, who played Gabrielle Solis’s daughter on the show, I think that she… (audience murmurs) You remember her. She was all kinds of laughter, right? My guess is that Eva Longoria’s character, Gabrielle, is going to tell her husband that Juanita is not really his child. Oh. You know what I’m sayin’, ’cause Gabrielle always used to say I was a model, I was rippin’ the runway and doin’ all other stuff and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Uh-huh, probably caught up with one of them pappies one late night. (audience laughs) And then just passed her off as, God, I forget his name, Mr. Solis. Ricardo Chavira. Ricardo, but in– Carlos Solis. Carlos Solis, right, who by the way, said Felicity Huffman and all the racism on the show was an open secret. (audience murmurs) He called it white privilege. We already did that story though. Yeah, yeah. He was glad that the show was over and he wouldn’t be surprised if she got off, this Felicity Huffman, and white privilege. Anyway, so anyhoo, the terrible secret to me is gonna be that Juanita is not Carlos’s. But all of her friends have moved away, all right. So she’ll be living there by herself. So instead of befriending the old friends ’cause they’re all gone, one of ’em’s dead and one of them, Nicollette Sheridan’s dead. Remember, she got electrocuted right in the middle of Wisteria Lane? (audience murmurs) Okay. And then do you remember a house landed on another and all we could see are the calves and the feet, and then dead? I don’t know who that was. But look, Gabrielle’s gonna be living there by herself and well, I guess maybe Carlos will be there too, but she’s gonna befriend a whole new cast of Housewives. Now see, I’m open for it. I’m open for this. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) I mean last time Eva was here, we talked about it on the couch and I asked her, I said, “Would you ever go back?” and she said she certainly would. She certainly would. And I think that she’s interesting enough that we can do without the other cast members. Vanessa Williams will be doing pop-bys or somethin’ like that. That’s fine. I mean she was late to the party anyway. So we didn’t really get a chance to really know her. She wasn’t really part of that six years that we watched that show endlessly. (audience murmurs) (audience applauds) And Marcia Cross, the redhead, she’s agreed to do cameos. Why not? Remember how anal retentive she was on the show, about everything? (laughs) (audience laughs) So there’s no word on whether Teri Hatcher is gonna be a part of it, but why wouldn’t she? We haven’t seen Teri. Teri, we haven’t seen you in a very, very long time, and I know you don’t have a publicist, you answer your own emails. If they email you this, oh yeah, she’s a smart girl. Why waste money on publicists and all kind of other people you have to split your money with? Suzanne, you remember that about her, right? I remember that. Yeah, we used to email her directly. Be like “You wanna come?” And then she’d email right back. Yep. And then get on the phone like just a regular girl who’s with a regular job. In the meantime, she was the queen of Wisteria Lane, bein’ all regular. She didn’t stop that whole publicity thing because Housewives was over. She was doin’ it even before that. Smart girl. Smart. (audience applauds) Anyway, I would like this to be true because I’ve not invested in a series like this since they were on, I mean religiously, religiously. I watch a little Grey’s and I watch a little Love and Hip Hops and even the Housewives, I’m in and out. But this show right here, this was my tried and true investment. Kevin and Kevin knew, leave me alone on Sunday nights. I’d go into my mom room, all set up all girly like. Click that TV on and close the door, mhm. Anyway, all right, so here’s somethin’ goin’ on. ‘Cause we as women, we demand equal pay and equal this and equal that. Well, you know what, there are just a few things, can we just leave it up to the men, you bossy bitches? (audience laughs) Can we just, please? Okay. The Olympic skier, Lindsey Vonn, you remember she was with Tiger Woods and now she’s not with him anymore? Well, she’s got this boyfriend and she proposed to him on Christmas Day. (audience murmurs) And she gave him an engagement ring. (audience murmurs) Now I’m gonna tell you somethin’ right now. There is no way in hell, you know what I’m sayin’? (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) No, no. I mean I get it, I get it. We want the equal pay, we wanna be bus drivers and cops and garbage men. We gotta pay alimony and stuff like, you know what I’m saying? (laughs) There’s stuff we have to do as women if we want everything to be equal. But there are a few things. Even though I can’t stand a period, can’t stand a menopause, (audience laughs) but you don’t have that, men. (audience laughs)
(audience applauds) And no matter what you try to do to your boobs, you never had the originals. (audience laughs)
(audience applauds) Right? Right? All right, co-hosts, and please, just stand in your own truth, nobody’s gonna jump you. Clap if you’re fine with a woman proposing to a man with a ring. (few audience applauds) Okay. So the majority of us are just old-fashioned in that way. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. (audience applauds) Yeah. You’re wondering who the man is, aren’t you? Yes. Okay. (audience laughs) Well, he’s a hockey player. He plays for the NHL. He plays as a matter of fact for the Jersey Devils, I believe, right? The Jersey Devils. How many black people are in hockey? (audience laughs) (laughs) 2.5. (laughs) 2.5. My uncle was one of the first black people to play in the NHL, and that was back in the 1800s. It was in the early 1900s. I told you that. I remember talking about this. No, I’ve never heard this before. Oh, excuse me? Yeah. Yeah, that’s my business. (Norman laughs)
(audience laughs) But my uncle played in the NHL back in the day. After an overwhelming amount of racism and stuff, he dropped out and went on with his life. Couldn’t sleep in the hotel with the other guys. Couldn’t ride on the same bus. Yeah, 40 years ago. Yeah. That was more than 40 years ago. He’s old. He’s old. Hi Uncle. (audience laughs) All right, so clap if you’ve ever been to a fat farm? (few audience applauds) A few of you fatties. Did it work? Did it work? It worked? Let me see, stand up. Yay. Okay. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) The thing about a fat farm is that they were invented way back in the day. They called ’em fat farms. Now they call them health retreats. You can’t say anything, politically correct. It’s a fat farm, okay? That’s where you go and you roll tires all day. That’s where they feed you cucumbers. That’s where they have all kinds of people doing psychological tests on you to figure out why it is that you’re fat. It always comes back to the mother. (laughs) (audience laughs) It always does. Why it is that you’re fat. You swim, you bike. Ugh, you have to have lights out at a certain amount of time ’cause part of losing weight is getting your serious sleep. Just the whole bit. Well, anyway, guess who’s goin’ to a fat farm? Who? Rob Kardashian. (audience gasps)
(audience applauds) I don’t mind this for Rob. I don’t mind this for Rob but according to People Magazine, Rob is thinking of going away to what they’re calling a weight loss camp. Fat farm. (audience laughs) So he can get healthier for his three-year-old daughter, Dream. Aw. Beautiful idea. Too bad he’s not doing it for himself first though, you know what I’m saying? But that’s what the shrinks are there for. You discover self-love and then once you eat there, you’re on your own. That’s where you gain all the weight back. (audience laughs) See? (laughs) See? The last photo that we saw of Rob out, ’cause he’s been avoiding having a picture taken, there he is in the green, he clearly looks like, his weight looks good there. Yes. I don’t know who that is with him but his weight looks really good there. But I guess he’s been eating himself back into a conundrum so he’s goin’ to go. And this is a thing. In our meeting, they were saying, well, why does he have to go away? He can have nutritionists and workout people and the best food and the best sleep and everything just come right to the compound in Calabasas where he lives. Why would he go away? And I said because there’s comradery with like-minded people. You know what I mean? Yeah. First of all, he doesn’t want the Kardashian machine around him, he doesn’t wanna face his family looking at him every day like how much did you lose. (audience laughs) I bought you a new scale. I bought my measuring rod. (audience laughs) Let’s wrap it around your waist. So I like this for him. He’ll make new friends, regular people, not regular, because I’m sure the place he’s gonna go is gonna be really expensive so everybody already starts off the top bein’ rich, so that’s a common thing. And then the fat and then just the weight. I like it. You build friends for lives in places, hey, did you girls build friends for lives there? Yes. You did?
Yes. See? Aw.
Nice. Nice. (audience applauds) Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Paris Hilton has a new man and I like this one for her. Oh. Now look, she’s dated a few different people, okay, a few dozens of people (audience laughs) in her 38 years. But right now, she’s dating an entrepreneur. His name is Carter Reum. (audience murmurs) Well, well, no, no, no, no, hold on, he’s not a party boy. Carter is Ivy League. Oh. He’s 38 like she’s 38. He’s a graduate of Columbia University. And Harvard School of Business. Oh. (audience applauds) I like it. He also co-founded a liquor brand. (laughs) Come on, you all. It’s called VEEV Spirits and he also has an investment firm called M13. And here they were out the night of the Golden Globes. She’s endlessly beautiful, right? No matter what you say. And he looks good with her. They’re both 38. This is the first relationship that she’s had since she broke it off with that guy, Chris Zylka, back in 2018. But remember, Chris was only like 18 himself. Remember, she brought him here. Suzanne, you remember. I remember he sat in the front row. Yeah, sat in the front row. He was so young. Really young. But she likes it like that, I guess, but she likes it like that ’cause young boys are easy to boss around. You know what I mean? But when it’s time to get serious and have kids and she’s always said she wants to be a mom and stuff and be married and have a family, so 38, time’s a-tickin’. And her sister, Nicky, got married, Nicky Hilton Rothchild, okay? Nicky is now married to a Rothchild. And so time is ticking for Paris Hilton and good luck, Paris. Yeah. (audience applauds) My foot is asleep, all the way asleep. Damn. (audience laughs) Look, I know you all don’t like when I talk about Mama June but you wanna know what, this story is not gonna end well. (audience murmurs) No, I know, I know you don’t like it. But when you get your show, you talk about what you want, okay? (audience laughs)
(audience applauds) Me and the Hot Topics Bureau are very curious about Mama June and we all unanimously agreed that none of this is gonna end well. (audience murmurs) At all. At all. Okay. So Mama June and her boyfriend, Geno, they were kicked out of their hotel. They were unable to pay. Wow. I’m catching you up to speed, right? It’s not like they’re staying at the Waldorf Astoria or somethin’ like that, okay? They’re stayin’, follow the red roof, get in there. (audience laughs) Anyway, according to TMZ, Mama June and Geno and some of their friends were staying at a hotel in Georgia. And when it came time to pay the almost $2,000 bill, Mama June said well, this is all I have. So they kicked them out. I’m surprised they didn’t arrest them though. If they were black, they would’ve been arrested. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) Yeah. So they kicked them all the way outta the hotel and then they went up there. Thank you, TMZ, for this delicious evidence. I don’t know what I’m looking at. (audience murmurs) Ah-ah, ah-ah. Show that first picture of the carpet, okay? (audience murmurs) Okay. Okay. Look, look, look, now look-a here. Suzanne? Horrifying. I don’t know what that is right there. This is horrifying. I don’t know whether that’s a can or a vial. Okay. I don’t know whether this is a joint or a line. And I don’t know whether this is baby powder or (audience murmurs) a Colombian special. I don’t know. Look, look, I guess these are all Doritos, I don’t know, and I don’t know what that is right there. Oh. And I don’t know what that is right there. Nah-uh. And is that a hub cap? (audience laughs) Is that a hub cap? (laughs) (Suzanne laughs) Just a mess. Oh. Okay, oh, all right, okay, okay. Well, this is very, very terrible because today is Honey Boo Boo’s older sister Pumpkin’s 20th birthday. Happy birthday, Pumpkin. (audience murmurs) (audience applauds) Pumpkin is married, Pumpkin has children. Pumpkin, I was asked during our meeting, should she go to court and file for sole custody of, no, no, not yes. No, ’cause when you file for sole custody, they’re coming to your house. Now look, I’m livin’ on the up and up. You’re not gonna come in my house, Government. (audience laughs) Okay? If I wanna smoke a joint with my husband after one o’clock in the morning, you know what I’m sayin’, and I have a prescription, then get outta here. (audience applauds) You know what I’m saying? You know what I’m saying. No. It’s clear that Honey Boo Boo doesn’t have any place else to go and she’s stress eating. Honey Boo Boo’s only 14 years old. She’s in high school dealing with this, June, and bum Geno. And you, Pumpkin, don’t ask for custody for your sister. Just take the custody. There’s always another room in your house. There’s always a seat at your dinner table. Have her register in the school system where you all live and go to school. And before you know it, Honey Boo Boo will be off to college and hopefully, she’ll get a good, old full scholarship to the university of wherever they live. (audience applauds) And move out, live in the dorm, and go on with her life. Just terrible. There’s somebody else’s birthday today too, I forgot who. R. Kelly’s birthday. (audience boos) I don’t have a story about him. You all see everything unfold on that Part One, Part Two and Part 10. Quite frankly, I’ve seen it all. I’m just waitin’ for Faith and Biggie. That comes on the 10th. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) The 10th. Yeah, I think it’s– The 10th, yep.
Saturday, yeah. That whole series is a good one. Just the R. Kelly one bores me to death because it’s rehashing everything that I said on the radio but you all are late to the party so you watch. (audience laughs) In the meantime, it’s time for Celebrity Lookalike, hit it. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) (dance music) (audience claps along to music) Okay. Boof, you stay right where you are. Don’t move. (audience laughs) Our first celebrity lookalike comes from Ian R., who watches the Wendy Show on KBVU in Eureka, California. Ian thinks that he looks like Sting, so here’s the real Sting. Okay, okay, Ian. Ooh, but Sting is really good-looking and he believes in the tantric sex. Oh. Yeah, oh uh-huh, uh-huh. Oh yes, oh yes. Look, look (laughs), and now let’s take a look at Ian. Oh. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) Oh. Okay. Our next celebrity lookalike comes from Abby L., who watches the Wendy Show on WJBK in Detroit, Michigan. Abby thinks that she looks like, excuse me, Abby thinks he looks like, oh, a man named Abby. (audience laughs) Okay. Well, Abby thinks he looks like Keegan-Michael Key. Here’s the real Keegan. He’s funny. (audience murmurs) Okay. And here’s Abby. Yup. Oh. (audience applauds) Yep. Our final celebrity lookalike (laughs) comes from Antonio P., who watches the Wendy Show on WJCL in Savannah, Georgia. And Antonio thinks he looks like my DJ Boof. Woo. (audience murmurs) So let’s see the picture of DJ Boof. (audience murmurs) Boof, that’s when we were at the movies. Yeah. I recognize my Yankees fitted over there in the corner. There it is over there. Okay. What did we go see again? “Bombshell”. Oh “Bombshell”, right. That we left early. Yeah. (audience murmurs) Anyway, and here’s Antonio. Yep. (laughs) (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) If you or someone you know looks like a celebrity, sharing is funny. Go to WendyShow.com. And we’ve got more great show for you everybody. Suzanne Somers is here. (audience cheers)
(audience applauds) So grab a snack and come on back. (dance music) ♪ Feel, feel, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel, feel it-it ♪ ♪ Woo ♪